Issue 14: Durian

by thomandaimee

Alright, pledge your allegiance now. There can only be two sides to this important matter, you’re either on Team Durian or Team How-The-Hell-Are-You-Not-On-Team-Durian. Well, the fact that we have dedicated this issue to the prickly fruit, it’s glaringly obvious that we love our durians. And when we say ‘love’, we meant insanely obsessed. We cannot say the word ‘durian’ and not turn into a couple of rabid hyperventilating dorks. (I’m twitching in my seat at this moment. I. Need. Durian.)

“If you don’t love durian, you are not Singaporean” – there goes the saying. Of course, you are not forced to consume it to become a Singaporean, but it just shows how well-loved this fruit is. Not just in Singapore, it’s deemed the King of Fruits in the whole of South East Asia. (It should be for the world wide world.) Comes durian season (from late May to Early August), you’d find five-star hotels and fine-dining restaurants churning out durian desserts of sorts. Some even travel to neighbouring countries to have a durian-centred feast. There was even a durian buffet. A bloody buffet that allows you to eat all the durians you want! And yes, we went for that. *evil cackle*

To strangers to this odd food, durians can be an offensive assault to your senses. With sharp thorns covering every millimetre of the husk, you would think it’s probably dangerous to consume it. I think Mother Nature was just being a selfish bitch to deter us from eating such heavenly stuff.

Then, there’s the smell. Most are turned off by its pungent and rank stench. If you go onto google, you’d find descriptions such as rotten sewage, dead rats and smelly socks. Basically, one can hardly phantom why anyone would put durians in their mouth. Its fragrance is so strong that it’s literally banned in hotels or public transport. You can eat durians and become a durian-farting machine for the next few days. That’s how potent these stuff are. But sorry, dude, we find the smell of durians A-MAH-ZING. If our neighbours from three floors up are eating durians, we would know and we would be awfully filled with envy.

Past the smell, you pick up this gooey, creamy (sometimes watery) glob of yellow-orange flesh. If you thought the smell was intense, the fruit itself is like getting multiple special combo-attacks. It’s Hadouken, Kamehameha, Bankai and Gomu Gomu all at once. You have received 10000000 damage and have to respawn for the next 500 times. But if you can go beyond the smells and first taste, you’d find how amazingly complex durians are. The custard-like flesh can go from caramel sweet to bittersweet. You may find hints of nuts, caramel and fruits such as mango and overripe bananas.

We tried quite a few varieties for erm, research. From mao shan wang (loosely translated as mountain cat king), D24, D13, XO to jin feng (golden phoenix), hong xia (red prawn) and butter durians. And that’s just the top of the list. After so many durians, our taste buds got a little numb. Our reactions slowly became useless information like “arghmagawd” to “ugh, pass”. In any case, stick to the winners such as mao shan wang and D24. Though, we do love the ultra sweet butter durians as well.

Because of its overpowering flavours, it’s tough to pair durians with any other ingredient. The easiest way is to complement the pronounced notes present in the fruit. We looked at nuts, tropical fruits such as mangosteen and mangoes, and local foods such as palm sugar. The idea was to inject the awesomeness of durian into classic French desserts, with a touch of local flavours. Ah~ anything durian just works for me.

I could go on and on about durians. This controversial fruit may not be the most crowd-pleasing and it divides people into two distinct camps. But in my memories, it was about having the whole family squatting on the newspaper-covered floor as we slurp the buttery flesh off our fingers. Well, our youngest sister would be behind a closed door trying to avoid the smells. And that itself is one quirky memory to have.